During the program hosted by Georgina Rosabeard by Telefe, To the Barbarossathe psychologist was visiting Celia Antonini gave a talk explaining a new trend among couples, not living together. This new trend is called LAT (Living Apart Together) and the professional explained that it is becoming more and more common and helps to improve sexual performance.
“It is a trend in the world, it is called LAT couples (living apart, but together), it is different from living together. The couple has the idea of seducing the other by not seeing each other every day and also seeing the couple only at the moment in which we want to see it,” the professional began.
“The routine caused by not living together makes them have a brighter flame and get along better. If they have children this ends, because it is for young couples, without children, or for people who have already been a couple and have separated or widowed and want to have a relationship again,” closed the specialist.
Guide to avoid falling for emotional scams on Tinder according to a specialist
It seems that the robberies and the scams emotional they came to stay this yearit is only a series or documentary, as in the case of “Swindler of tinder” either “inventing to Anna” in Netflix. Today, no one is exempt from being the victim of an emotional scammer, just one click on an application is enough to fall into the clutches of one person manipulative.
Por that, Daniela Of Lucythe strategic coach and author of the book: “you are for more“, helps to detect these types of scammers who seem to be more common than what is actually believed. In fact, according to the writer’s words, “today there are many adults who do not dare to say that they have been scammed emotionally”.
How to avoid falling for emotional scams…
The first point is to stop believing fantasies out of necessity. We buy beautiful truths, perfect princesses and princes of stories that make us believe it.
It doesn’t matter how fanciful they are, even if they talk to us about murders or kidnappings or things that don’t happen on a day-to-day basis, suddenly we find ourselves in a relationship where they gave us everything to measure.
If it’s too good to be true… it’s because it’s too good to be true.
The perfect movie at the beginning often has this kind of surprise. In the case of Simon Leviev, those types of characters come to tell you what you need to hear. They meet someone who needs to hear something special, an illusion in their life that they give it to them.
In fact, anyone can fall for this, not that they are stupid. We all have some illusion or something that we lack in life and they detect it and use it to manipulate. The manipulator that he is in these cases knows very well how to detect what the other needs to give it to him.
That is why we have to stop going through life looking for someone to complete us and start having a concept of love that is like: I am complete, I am going well through life and I do not need anything. Because when someone appears it shouldn’t be something like “it improves my life and gives me the joy that I don’t get”, it should be one more person.
When one is planting from life and with it self-esteem accordingly, when an emotional scammer comes, you immediately recognize the lie, because you do not need to believe what he tells you, you are planted in your happy and content reality, you see and say… where does it come from? this delirium? One questions what the other says, because he does not need to believe.
Is it just about empathy?
The exchanges of listening to the other, generating a link as happens in the television program ‘catfish’ makes them show virtual relationships where sometimes the scam has to do with economics and other times they are relationships where the other is not shown as is it is and the scam occurs with the fact that it is another type of person.
It is not only about empathy, because otherwise we would be an NGO or a foundation. Because if it’s a matter of empathy, many of us would be helping everyone just because. Manipulation works as a type of emotional extension.
In the case of the Tinder scammer from Argentina, it may be due to a situation like the one she invented from an alleged death threat she suffered. So the other in that extortion delivers something beyond her will, to help her but being cheated.
Can you stay in love with emotional scammers?
There are times when love is not rational at all and your head understands that you were cheated but you got hooked on that relationship called ‘toxic’ where you know that this is bad for you or that it had the intention of harming you but you feel that you cannot remove that person of the heart
This is very common and has to do with emotional co-dependencies, where no matter how bad the person hurts you, you would rather have it than not have it. That’s when something becomes addictive and where even mistreatment is missed.
The faults that we have then we want to complete with another and that is where we make emotional water, because we look for what we lack, love even in places where they are clearly heartbreak.
It can happen to many adults that this is happening to them, not just with the Tinder scammer. In fact, in the case of the young man from Chubut, it is a 25-year-old boy, but there are many other adults who do not dare to say that they have been emotionally cheated.
This is the case that we heard about, but this must have happened and it can’t just happen to an inexperienced guy, it can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, or experience.
Do you think that the scammer can fall in love?
The scammer has a distance and a coldness to calculate his mission, I doubt that the scammer can fall in love, he can have a feeling, being a human being, there may be people who have the same connection with each other.
In general, in these cases, the lie, deception and fraud are stronger. So clearly a person in love does not seek to harm you or seek this. The victim’s false hope instead is to hope that she will fall in love and change. Something better called, cotillion hope.
Can the emotional scam be only for money or for access to a job or other type of advantage?
Not everything is money and it can be to access some space, social circle, contact or work. But it always has to do with the scammer’s own goal. Clarity is power and if there is someone who has clarity, he is the one who seeks to defraud the other.
The objective can be anyone, it is clear to him that he is going to do everything he needs to do so that the other believes in him. Generating a bond of trust so that the other gives you access to what you are looking for.
It achieves it from trust and installing doubt. Since the lack of clarity on the part of the other occurs every day. Living what can be a ‘mist’ that is something the other does not really know what happens on the other side, since the person says one thing and does another.
Once this game is given, the dirty communication begins, where the scammer begins to be unclear to generate the lack of clarity. Thus the other person has very little information when making decisions.
When it leads him to make decisions it is only to blackmail him. It can be said that all the good that is given to the other, if it is not repaid, the scammer takes it away. Without saying it that way.
That can be called an underhanded threat.
Fraudsters are experts at strategic communication at the highest power. Because it leads to the other not understanding what is happening and in the worst case it causes the other person to lose their identity. As an extreme case of manipulation where the other cannot make decisions because he feels that he does not know what he wants and who he is. That would be the limit.
So emotional scammers are much more common than we think…
The emotional scammer is clearly someone who betrays the trust of another, different is a person who knows what he wants and who can build that path with confidence. The scammer has malice and intent to extract something from the other without her consent.
It has more to do with manipulation, since then he cannot be blamed, because ultimately the manipulated person can say ‘I didn’t force him’. The person acts favoring the fraudster with his own will. So, for there to be a scam, it is necessary that there is clearly a detriment to the other.
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Original Publisher: https://www.gente.com.ar/lifestyle/una-especialista-explico-porque-las-parejas-lat-son-tendencia-en-el-mundo/